


Akatsuki Night Out

by zombie_honeymoon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drinking, Ficlet, Gen, M/M, Team Dynamics, akatsuki shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27948731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombie_honeymoon/pseuds/zombie_honeymoon
Summary: After the fight with Asuma, Hidan wants to show off Kakuzu's moves to the rest of the team and makes Zetsu show off to everyone just how cool his partner can be, but he just can't be quiet for a few minutes and let people watch, not with Deidara there.
Relationships: Deidara & Hidan (Naruto), Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38
Collections: Akatsuki Gift Exchange





	Akatsuki Night Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Clever_Girl_22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clever_Girl_22/gifts).



> Akatsuki Gift Exchange Stocking Stuffer gift for Clever Girl! I hope you enjoy this little fic! Your prompt sounded like a lot of fun and so I wanted to give it a shot. 
> 
> Obviously this is canon divergent- because we all know things went much differently, but it's the holidays, so let's change that and pretend they all got drinks afterwards instead.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Hidan shouted as he grabbed another beer and slung his arm around Kakuzu’s shoulders, “You guys have to see this!” 

“Hidan…” Kakuzu sighed as he leaned into him, but he found that he really did not mind Hidan wanting to show him off at all.

“What?! It was fuckin’ awesome! Zetsu, show it to us, come on, do your weird… projection thing.” He waved his hand in the air, sloshing beer out of the bottle, and ignored the irritated noise from Itachi.

Moving away and wiping flecks of beer from his sleeve, Itachi grumbled, “Look at this... No manners at all…” 

“Aw, he’s just excited, his Kakuzu must’ve done something to impress him,” Kisame cooed and with his thumb, wiped a spot of beer from Itachi’s cheek for him.

On the other end of the table Zetsu said a quick, “I'm not showing this again, so watch it the first time or don't.” He really didn’t wait for their attention, just started to play back the images he had captured of the fight. Already knowing exactly what Hidan wanted to see, as he had bugged him about it earlier, as well.

Above the table as it started to play, Hidan’s arm tightened around Kakuzu’s shoulder, “This is so fucking awesome!” 

“Oi! Can't you just shut up already and let us watch, un?!” Deidara slammed a fist on the table to punctuate his words, “How awesome can it be?”

Leaning forward as if to crawl across the table, which was likely to happen without Kakuzu to stop him,, Hidan shouted back, “Why don’t you watch and find out?! I've got the coolest partner out of all of you!” Kakuzu pulled him back by the collar of his tattered robe and gave him a warning look to sit down and be quiet. 

“That’s what I’m trying to do, dumbass! Are you already drunk? We're _all_ just trying to watch but you keep running your mouth!”  
  
Zetsu couldn't believe this. Actually no, he could and he didn't care if they were going to miss it bickering like they were, and growled, “I won’t show it again. So watch it the first time!” 

Hidan made a face and settled back down, grinning from ear to ear as he looked around the table at the rest of the Akatsuki watching the projection. 

As soon as Hidan’s head was cut off, Deidara and Kisame lost it laughing, “Loser!” Deidara shouted, pointing at Hidan’s face, “Is that why you're wearing your headband around your neck all the time? To hide the stitches? How often does that happen?”

“Oi! Shut it, bitch!”  
  
“Why? You didn’t die.” Deidara shrugged and smirked as he watched the projection.

In the next moment, as soon as they watched Kakuzu kick at the Leaf nin’s knee and broadside him in the face with his briefcase full of cash, everyone let out cheers and shouts. From across the table even Konan looked impressed.

“I think we’re going to need to watch that again,” Kisame said with a toothy grin as he reached for another beer from the center of the table, even pushing one towards Kakuzu, “C'mon, Kakuzu, drink up, enjoy your time in the spotlight.”

“Yes, do enjoy it, at least this time we're not watching you incinerate yet another partner,” Sasori said, his voice even but the way his lips curved up ever so slightly, told that he was very much amused, possibly even impressed.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, they were never going to let it go that he intentionally killed his previous partners. He glanced over at Hidan who was pressed up against him and from the angle they were at, the stitching around his neck was visible. After killing several partners, now he was stitching this one back together...

“Aww, look, I think he cares about Hidan,” Kisame said, pointing at the images Zetsu was still projecting, now of Kakuzu stitching Hidan's head back onto his shoulders. 

“Boring! I want to see Kakuzu smack that dude down again, un!" Deidara looked across the table at the two, “Kakuzu, my man, you could've put his head in your briefcase, it's so full of rocks, it would hit harder than that cash does.”

“Don't you give him any ideas!” Hidan was practically crawling across the table at that point, face flushed from drink and embarrassment. 

“Take your pissing contest outside both of you!” Konan ordered over the insults and threats both Deidara and Hidan were throwing at each other, getting closer and closer to an all out brawl between them. They knew not to go so far as to cause any lasting damage to the other, but no one was interested in watching them.

“Oi! Outside, let's go!” Deidara was on his feet and Hidan followed. Kakuzu let him go after a brief warning of, 'I won't sew your head back on if he knocks it off again.'

Once they were gone, Kisame once again requested to see the fight and they all watched, only to be interrupted by a “Kakuzu-chan... Come out here and get my body, will you?” 

With a groan, Kakuzu shook his head and popped the lid off a bottle of beer as he settled back in his seat to enjoy it, contemplating Deidara's advice about Hidan's head, “I warned him, you all heard me. I'm not going out there. He's on his own for now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are appreciated. Stay safe and healthy in the new year guys!


End file.
